Monday, 23rd October 2006 at 2:08 pm

Kate Moss Knocked Around and Knocked Up?

It simply can’t be a coincidence.

Days after being groped by a group of over-zealous fans of her boyfriend Pete Doherty’s band Babyshambles, Kate Moss is reportedly pregnant.

The touch-and-grab all happened after Kate, who is now trying to unfortunately also make a name for herself as a singer, joined the group on stage at the Flog Club in Florence to sing a song.

A source (unidentified, of course) related a blow-by-blow account of what happened when Kate tried to leave the club after the show: “It appeared as if she had cut her wrists or arm.

“It looked like there was red blood dripping down her hand and on to her jeans.

“Some guy was jostling her and grabbed her boob.

“It was a right scrum and she seemed really anxious about getting out of there.”

Should we for a moment disregard other puzzling questions (such as, how did the fans manage to find anything to grab a hold of on that bag of skin and bones? And where on her skinny person is this boob they speak of?), we can only say that we sincerely hope for the alleged unborn’s sake that (s)he was fathered by one of the fondlers and not by Pete.

After all, it’s bad enough that Kate will be its mother.

At least we already have a nice, unisex name worked out for the unborn: Baby Shambles.

And something tells us that the kid will have a really addictive personality.

Additional reading: Kate Moss groped by over-zealous fans - The Bosh.

Kate Moss Pregnant? - Celebrity Nation.