So for the time being (until we decided we can stomach another bloody Li Lo story without growing a boil) it’s ‘cheers for beers’.

It’s old news that South African Oscar winner Charlize Theron’s mother Gerda killed Charlize’s father Charles when Charlize was only 15 years old. Gerda claimed it was self defense and she was never prosecuted. Shortly afterwards, Gerda and Charlize broke all contact with the late Charles’ family.

Now Charlize’s paternal grandmother Bettie is begging a reconciliation with her famous and estranged granddaughter. Yes, we agree that it is usually the other way around. But perhaps, when your granddaughter is super famous and rich, you’ll also resort to shameless begging to try and get your gnarly hands on her money?

Coincidentally (or not so coincidentally), her grandmother’s plea is surfacing at the same time as a new book, Killer Women: Fatal South African Females, by South African writer Chris Karsten. In the book, Charlize’s aunt Elsa Malan casts doubt on the actress’s claim that her mother, Gerda, was a victim of domestic abuse.

“We want to set the record straight. All those perceptions that Charles was some kind of a monster at home were very hurtful to our family and everyone who knew him. He was a dedicated family man. His wife and daughter were the most important things in his life,” Elsa says, calling her late brother ‘mild-mannered’.

In the mean time, Charlize’s ailing grandmother wishes to see her famous granddaughter at least once more before she dies.

We suggest that she does it like the rest of us… via Google images! (By the way, wasn’t Charlize and her mom hawt in the 80s?)
Additional reading: Theron’s grandma hopes for reunion with star - PR Inside.

Charlize Theron’s mother killed her father - scandal reopened - Stupid Celebrities.

Despite being unable to sell a house, he is still able to sell movie tickets! And that to a sequel, no less!

Other stats about his life (as culled from his Wikipedia entry): Number of Oscars won: One. Number of famous uncles: One (Francis Ford Coppola). Number of children: Two. Number of children with really unfortunate and weird name that sounds a bit like Israeli airline: One (Kal-El, born October 3, 2005). Number of castles owned: One.

Happy birthday, Nic!

First, here are the stars who have been naughty. Since the list is so long, we are limiting it to the naughtiness of the last few days:

-Stars who are spending Christmas and New Year’s not in bars but behind them are: Kiefer Sutherland, who checked into California’s Glendale City Jail on December 6 to serve a 48-day drunk-driving sentence; and Michelle Rodriguez, who will be getting Lost in the same Lynwood, California jail where Lindsay, Paris and Nicole stayed earlier this year. Michelle reported to the jail yesterday to begin serving her six-month sentence for violating probation in a drunk driving case. Unlike us, she will be getting NO time off for good behaviour. Via People and Buddytv.

-Jamie Lynn Spears, who noticed that motherhood so didn’t do anything to curb her older sister Britney’s partying ways, enticing her to try it herself. At age 16. Via A Socialite’s Life.

-Another current jailbird, Amy W(h)inehouse’s husband, Blake Fielder-Civil (or, Not-so-Civil, as the case may be), has apparently been ordered by some fellow inmates to pay up the thousands of dollars he owes in drug money, or they’ll kidnap Amy. We say anyone who manages to get Amy’s weave into any kind of getaway vehicle will deserve whatever ransom money they demand! Via The Celebrity Cafe.

-Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s adopted children are DEFINITELY getting coal in their stockings from us this year for this. Via Hecklerspray.

-Sacha Baron Cohen may feel all grown up now that he has become a dad and all, but we don’t like him much for retiring his characters Borat Sagdiyev and Ali G. Via E! News.

And on our nice list?

-The person who is earning the most money in Australia… is a South African! Now that IS nice! Via Fin24.

-Nice girl (yeah, despite knocking that intellectually stimulating piece of cinematic art which was Knocked Up that she was part of earlier this year), Katherine Heigl married a musician three years her junior. Awww, how nice. Via AP News.

-The nicest person alive, however, is Denzel Washington. But don’t just take our word for it. Via Glitterati.

-Also quite lovely is Monaco’s Prince Albert. But not just because he has been dating South African swimmer Charlene Wittstock either! He and sister Princess Stefanie threw a fancy dress-up event… for kids. Via Hello Magazine.

-But forget the charity. We derive some holiday comfort in the fact that most celebrities are still just their hedonistic little selves, going all out to have the most luxurious holidays possible. Via Hello Magazine.

Happy holidays everyone! See you in 008!

Oops, did we say fall down drunk? Here is how a source put it: “She was having a couple a drinks and then all of a sudden she lost her footing” while enjoying a night out on the island of Bali. She is currently there to party and to promote a new pajama range with entrepreneur Peter Alexander.

We wonder how such pajamas will be advertised? “Tara Reid PJ’s. For those times when you just can’t seem to get up.”

Anyway she is fine. She was taken to a nearby hospital, where she was treated for cuts and bruises and she is now recovering at her luxurious hotel.

Additional reading: Tara Reid collapses in Bali - DNA India.

The 41-year old Dozi, whose real name is the far more incognito and mundane Henk Opperman, was pulled over by police at around 23:40 after running a red light. At the time, the singer was driving through the streets of Mossel Bay where he had just attended a family function “at which copious amounts of liquor were consumed.” Classy.

It led police to the following conclusion: “There’s a suspicion the blood-alcohol level in the driver’s blood exceeded the legal limit.” No, you don’t say!

Dozi spent the night in the holding cells and was released on Wednesday morning pending the results of his test.

According to Ilza Roggeband, Dozi’s spokesperson: “He was collected from the cell early on Wednesday morning by one of the officers and joined the station’s scripture reading and prayers. Dozi then sang Our Father to them in Zulu without accompaniment.”

This was the second crime Dozi has committed this year. Earlier this year, he robbed the cradle when he married 22-year old Muriel Lategan.
Of this latest incident, Dozi said: “I suppose it was the Lord’s way of telling me I shouldn’t be behind the wheel.”

We wonder what message from the Lord will entice Dozi to please stop singing?

In the mean time, he’ll be appearing live at the Mossel Bay Magistrate’s Court on April 2, 2008.

Additional reading:  Dozi’s arrest ‘the Lord’s way’ - News24.

After a few hours of feverish speculation, the rep for British songstress Lily Allen has confirmed that she is indeed up the duff, courtesy of Ed Simons, the 37-year old member of the Chemical Brothers. He has been May - Septembering the 22-year old Lily since… well, September!

Wow, in that time span, most guys have not even considered taking his new date home to meet mom yet, let alone MAKE a mom out of her!

Additional reading: Lily Allen is pregnant - People.

Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney’s 16-year old kid sister who stars in the Nickolodeon television series Zoey 101, has revealed to a US tabloid, OK! Magazine, that she is knocked up and already 12 weeks along. The baby daddy is reportedly her boyfriend Casey Aldridge, whom she had known for years after meeting him at church. Yeah, it’s always the ones you meet at church, isn’t it?

According to the AP report: Spears broke the news to her mother, Lynne, just before Thanksgiving.
“She was very upset because it wasn’t what she expected at all,” Spears said. “A week after, she had time to cope with it and became very supportive.”

Jamie Lynn apparently plans to raise the kids in her and Brit’s native Louisiana “so it can have a normal family life.”

Did she just say “NORMAL FAMILY LIFE?” HAHAHAHAHAHA. Poor girl is delusional.

Jamie Lynn is quite adamant about keeping the baby. After all, even if we were to try and explain to her what a huge responsibility a baby is, she won’t believe us, because two of them certainly did nothing to curb her sister’s partying ways!

Maybe if Mama Lynne had spent less time pushing her daughters into showbiz, the two of them wouldn’t be pushing their lives off the rails like this!

Oh, and how does aunt Britney feels about her sister’s big news? Her response, as you can well imagine, is off-beat, to say the least.

Additional reading: World Exclusive: Jamie Lynn Spears - “I’m pregnant” - OK! Magazine.

Because Southern Africa’s one royal girlfriend is back on our sunny shores!

Prince Harry’s Zimbabwean-born girlfriend Chelsy Davy has fled the glumness of winter in England to come and soak up some sun here in South Africa. She spent this past weekend at her parents’ £1 million luxury apartment in Durban, mostly hanging out on the balcony in a skimpy white bikini, working on her tan and smoking hand rolled cigarettes.

Chels, who has been studying at Leeds since September to be closer to her redheaded prince, has had a tumultuous few months which, at one point, saw the couple breaking up and leaving all of us utterly devastated. There were even rumours that Chelsy would be dropping out of Leeds University and return to South Africa.

For now though, Chelsy will be staying on at Leeds and continue to give her royal relationship a shot, much to our delight.

In the mean time, we’ll allow her some fun in the sun in Durbs before she jets off to Kenya for some Christmas quality time with her brother Shaun.
Additional reading: Chelsy Davy’s sunny retreat - Monsters & Critics.